Beau Pollock Blog:: WOMEN. V2
Book Blog links:
A nonfiction book of firsthand accounts by women regarding their experiences of the patriarchy.
a system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is traced through the male line.
"the thematic relationships of the ballad are worked out according to the conventional archetypes of the patriarchy"
a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.
"the dominant ideology of patriarchy"
a society or community organized on patriarchal lines.
plural noun: patriarchies
"we live in a patriarchy"
I didn’t write “we live in a patriarchy”. That was an exact citation and example from Oxford and Webster Dictionary And the example that was used.
If we live in a patriarchy where does that patriarchy take place? Does it start within families? Is it within all facets of society? Or is it mainly a family based social construct?
In this book I will be asking women questions about their personal experience with the patriarchy and or possible lack thereof though according to most scholars and research I have done most of the world is currently under a patriarchal rule with exception of certain tribes and micro-cultures.
I want to start this book by offering my personal opinion on why men created the patriarchy and why most of them still uphold it today even subconsciously.
Men are not as powerful as women.
Let me state that again:
MEN ARE NOT AS POWERFUL AS WOMEN.
Many would argue the opposite. Men are typically physically stronger, more dominant in personality and lifestyle, tend to inherit and retain more wealth, hold more positions of power in government and society etc.
But men are not as powerful as women.
This fact is due to the biological process of reproduction.
Men are not as powerful as women because they cannot reproduce.
Men can only take life away they cannot create it.
Men may have a small usually shared role in the production of another human being but we’ve all known for decades if not centuries that they can be replaced simply by someone donating sperm. In fact many women choose to have a child without a man and not just lesbians.
Therefore men are not as powerful as women.
This dilemma of purpose destroys many of them psychologically even if they don’t understand it. It haunts them because we all know they seek power like a fire seeks fuel. Without power men smolder into a dark ember and suffocate becoming nothing but black useless burned charcoal.
They will not admit this paradox of course. In fact many do not even understand it or process it consciously. They don’t understand why they’re secretly harboring some dark ideology in the back of their minds that leads them to believe they’re the better sex. That they’re the more powerful sex. That they’re the more dominant sex. That they’re the most important beings on earth.
When we all really know they aren’t.
It seems to me many women let them believe that in order to keep them from destroying each other or destroying themselves. But many do anyways.
They know that they are not as powerful deep down inside and it damages their ego and creates a void in many of them that they cannot explain. They know that their wives and mothers and grandmothers are more powerful and very key word here more IMPORTANT than them.
This is why we have the patriarchy. It is not the only reason but it is one of the more dominant reasons and one of the reasons rarely discussed.
The patriarchy is not about material wealth and control in society but is about the lack of soul connected creation men have with the earth and our human nature.
That’s why men are hunters. We are paradoxically opposite by nature. It’s our natural instinct and biological necessity to conquer beasts and if not stalk, hunt and feast on them then to tame them and coexist with them as in with horses and wolves/dogs/elephants/camels/cats and so many others.
Men and women have served different natural and NECESSARY roles for millions of years.
Men and the current violent patriarchy and male based violence is a disconnection of our human nature of Hunter/Gatherer/Wilderness/Survival animalistic humanism.
We no longer live in caves instead we live in boxes like caged animals yearning to break free. That natural need to be wild and free is what drives so many men crazy and leads so many others to seek power, control and oppression.
I speak about this deeply and diversely in my book titled MEN. Here:
In my opinion the patriarchy and its oppressive nature are a direct response by men to keep women from having ultimate freedom, equality, importance and power in their own sick and twisted game of unfulfilled life experiences.
Many men are not like this. Many men are AGAINST the patriarchy. But many times those men are incredibly intelligent, wildly adventurous and brave socially. They are not status quo. They are counter culture.
Unfortunately the status quo is controlled by meek men who fall into ideology programmed into their supple young minds from early childhood through high school. Many men do not evolve beyond a high school mentality. Maybe even most men.
This is one why abortion is illegal or suppressed even now in 2019 in many places.
It’s not about the details of the patriarchal religions. It’s not about sin or heaven or hell. It’s about the simple logistics that women are left out of the trilogy of power.
The father, the son, the Holy Ghost.
That’s it. Not the father and the MOTHER. Nope.
They wrote a book that said women are nothing more than objects to bear children. To bear prophets. Make prophets. All the major religions are patriarchal besides Hinduism.
Islam. Extreme Patriarchy.
The list goes on and on and on.
This is why birth control and contraception is illegal or suppressed or restricted in 2019.
This is why rape and sexual assault and domestic violence are rampant and normalized and carry such lenient and loose punishment and sentences many times without even a prison or jail sentence.
This is why religions are patriarchal and oppressive.
Because it works. It always has and it always will.
Or will it? Are you going to allow your daughters and grand daughters to continue to be victims of the patriarchy?
The patriarchy is a system constructed, installed, controlled, manipulated and enforced by men who have a secret and dark hatred of not only the more powerful female species but also their own less powerful bodies.
But don’t forget. The other half of humanity that is also upholding the patriarchy?
If women didn't uphold the “traditions” of the patriarchy it would end overnight.
Women could simply say to men. “We will no longer have sex with you if you continue to act this way or enforce this tradition or pass this law etc etc” and patriarchy would END OVERNIGHT.
What is “tradition” anyways? Mainly just a guilt trip being held over you by dead people.
Why can’t we make new traditions that aren’t sexist and oppressive instead and replace them?
Men and Women are complicated creatures. Traditions make us feel connected to our ancestors. Which is wholesome and lovely in itself. But what are we saying to the future generations that see us as their ancestors? Are we leaving a legacy of greatness? Or accepting the status quo?
I think the millennial generation is going to be the single greatest and most evolutionary generation of all time.
But only if we start accepting our faults, our traumas, our addictions, our spirituality, our mental health and our emotional well being.
And understanding our innate biological instincts and needs.
That’s one thing most men don’t understand. Their own hatred of their own bodies and it’s ineffectiveness and inability to reproduce and how and why that self hatred switches from them wanting a different body or a different life experience to them feeding their ego and in turn oppressing women whether physically, psychologically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, or in any other way, shape, or form. Men don’t understand their emotions. Their trauma. Their own inner sense of self worth. Or lack there of.
That is why many men end up feeling the need to take life rather than create it.
With war, law enforcement, mafia, crime, murder, gang wars, etc. etc etc. the list goes on and on.
Most wars worldwide are started and fought by men.
Most violent crime worldwide is done by men.
There are many women now serving many military positions worldwide now as well as more women in law enforcement but that trend has only happened over the last 20-30 years.
100 years ago women couldn’t vote. Or own property. Or have their own bank accounts.
Much has changed on the surface. But how much has changed deep down fundamentally?
In 2014, women made up 11.9% of police officers in the United States.
There have been women in the United States Army since the Revolutionary War, and women continue to serve in it today. As of fiscal year 2014, women are approximately 14 percent of the active duty Army, 23 percent of the Army Reserve, and 16 percent of the Army National Guard.
2011 arrest data from the FBI:
Males constituted 98.9% of those arrested for forcible rape
Males constituted 87.9% of those arrested for robbery
Males constituted 85.0% of those arrested for burglary
Males constituted 83.0% of those arrested for arson.
Males constituted 81.7% of those arrested for vandalism.
Males constituted 81.5% of those arrested for motor-vehicle theft.
Males constituted 79.7% of those arrested for offenses against family and children.
Males constituted 77.8% of those arrested for aggravated assault
There are violent women. There are oppressive women. There are women who enforce the patriarchy no doubt.
There are also women in high offices in all businesses and government and industry.
But in comparison to men? Almost all positions are still
Not all men seek to uphold the patriarchy.
Not all men seek to control women and keep them second class.
Not all men seek to take life since they cannot create it.
Not all men are violent.
In fact many of them have evolved beyond the patriarchal mindset and ideology and many of them are even feminists and fighting for freedom and equal rights for women and lgbtq.
But how many are those? Not enough. This book as well as my first book has an agenda for both men and women. That agenda is that we can do better.
Men must accept the patriarchy is real and not deny it or mock it or make fun of it but confront it head on. Face to face.
We must confront our nation, our ideology, our philosophy.
It is our duty to not only evolve ourselves but enact policies and social change that evolves our society and in turn the world.
We have all heard the term “feminine side”. As in some men are “in touch” with their “feminine side”. I believe this is a true thing. That men who become or evolve into beings capable of lowering the veil of their personal masculinity can be more balanced human beings and more evolved in body, mind, heart and soul. I speak about it in my first book titled “Men.” Go figure huh?
There will be a third book titled “Men and Women.” After this one that seeks to join the movements of both men and women into one human movement.
One human evolution.
There is much work to do and many discussions to be had. I’m not claiming to have all the answers. I’m not even claiming to have any of the answers. I just know I’m my heart that together we can find the answers and the solutions and if not fix the world or society we can at the very least fix ourselves. Or evolve ourselves.
The reason I believe many men can and do evolve and it’s true that we have a “feminine side” is because I do it. I allow myself to accept and understand my masculinity and also I allow myself to feel when it’s normal and biological and natural to be masculine and when I’m putting it on as act to mask my insecurities or my ego or to just in general create “machismo”.
When I call myself a feminist I am not taking away my masculinity.
When I call myself a feminist I’m not stating that I’m not a “normal” man with normal sexuality and personality and functions or disfunctions.
I am just allowing myself to deconstruct the idea that as a man I’m somehow better or more powerful or stronger or more dominant or more important than women.
And doing that I’m allowing myself to be neutral in ideology and philosophy and allowing myself to not think as I was programmed to or like society tries to program us to.
There is a difference between strong men who act with bravery and honor and defend their family and women in general and strong men who put on an act to seek alpha or authoritarian or elite.
There are many men who are good and honorable and strong and masculine men.
There are many more who are misogynistic and sexist and manipulative and oppressive.
Look at the president. Look at Dan Bilzerian. Look at Rush Limbaugh. They’re all around. Many are extremely successful and rich and powerful.
What will we do to change them? I’m not sure that it would be possible to change them. So our only option is to change ourselves. And help direct our society to a more evolved reality.
Empathy is one of the most important factors in evolving yourself.
I allow myself to empathize with women. On a daily basis. I allow myself to feel what it would be like to be cat called daily. To be hit on daily. To be inappropriately spoken to or even touched daily. To be spoken down to. To be manipulated into feeling less powerful. To be sexually assaulted. To be raped. To be killed.
To live with the constant pressure of being seen as a sexual object for the desires of men rather than a normal and neutral human being just going about their business.
Does this make me less sexual or less of a man? No.
Does this mean I don’t have a sense of humor and joke about my sexuality in r the opposite sex and wants and needs with my friends both male and female? No.
Does it make me have standards in regards to the way I speak of women, treat women, defend women and promote women and feminism? Yes.
There are lines we can choose to cross with the words and actions we choose. Sometimes we say things we thought would be funny or we found funny at that time of immaturity in our lives. As long as we recognize it and evolve and move on that’s allowed. That’s called human evolution.
Does it mean I tolerate men to speak about women in a demeaning manor in my presence? No.
There are limits. Lines. Boundaries.
Does it limit my male friends and companions? Yes.
There is a fine line that I don’t cross between a healthy and lively sexuality and personality and dialogue about women and the patriarchal normality of misogyny and sexism.
We must not cross that line.
Our current President Donald Trump is a sexist/misogynist. I can say that with absolute certainty.
These are his own words:
I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there, and she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big, phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.’
‘Yeah, that’s her. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful - I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet.
Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it.
You can do Whatever you want.
Grab them by the pussy, you can do anything.’
Now that to me is the perfect example of patriarchy.
A man who is powerful by many of society's standards admits his power goes beyond the law and admits that he sexually assaults women whenever he wants and that he can literally do anything he wants because of his power instilled in him by the patriarchy.
We live in a patriarchy and in a patriarchy that man can get away with murder.
Literally. I don’t doubt he’s been involved with people being murdered, raped, date raped, assaulted, etc etc. because we live in a patriarchy. It’s almost celebrated let alone accepted.. Same with many other rich and powerful men just like him. For most of the last two thousand years they got away with whatever they wanted.
Well NOT ANYMORE.
Would a woman be able to do this same thing in our society? If a woman was going around assaulting men and then boasting about it to other women would she then be promoted to the highest office and most powerful position in the land?
Think of all the women teachers who have gone to jail and prison for having sex or sexual relationships with their students recently.
How many men has this happened to? How many men have been caught versus women? What do the men do differently that likely keeps the students quiet? They threaten them with violence. With death.
You can argue that because the boys are not 18 that they are children. Well I disagree. I believe they are young men. And young men have sexual desires. If the teacher abuses them that’s different. But I feel if there is certain levels of consent that many times the statutory rape laws are not realistic.
Just a generation or two ago people got married and started families in their early teens and late teens. That might not have been a good thing but it was normal. They were also working as children and many times preparing to be sent off to war at 16-18 years old. Boys might take a long time to become fully mature and developed and evolved men but that doesn’t mean they can’t act like men at much younger ages.
At what ages do girls become young women? At what age do young women become fully evolved and developed women? At what age are girls subjected to the patriarchy by their fathers and other older men in their lives? At what age do girls realize the patriarchy is real?
Who am I as a man to even consider I have the right to explore these topics?
Well I admit I’m not a psychologist or some highly educated professional in the field of any of these topics.
I did go to college and I have studied writing. I just consider myself a man that’s fed up with the way our society is functioning. I’m fed up enough to write my first book called Men. And I’m fed up enough to
Write this second book called Women. I’m fed up enough to write a third book called “Men & Women” and to dedicate my time and energy to helping in any way I can.
I’m not your average american man.
I’m not saying I’m any better than any average american man.
All I’m saying is that by bringing these topics to light and creating a dialogue with as many people as possible I’m going to have an impact on our society and nobody can stop me.
But what I’m hoping is that you will have an impact on society too and that you realize that nobody can stop you either.
And that as controversial and hard to accept this may be that your father was likely a part of the patriarchy and likely instructed you to act a certain way and do things a certain way in order to maintain that patriarchy.
This might be triggering or aggravating to hear but I’m
Going to say it anyways:
Why do fathers “give their daughters away” at their wedding?
Well technically and historically their daughters were their property and they could sell them for dowry to the highest bidder or to the family they choose.
I find that terminology and that act of “tradition” to not only be disgusting but to be archaic and demeaning.
Why do mothers not “give away” their sons at their weddings? Because in many families that son has more power and control by the time they are 18 than their very own MOTHER.
Yes. And two generations ago (my grandmothers time of birth) women could not even vote. Let alone own property or have their own bank accounts or credit cards. The sons would become “head of household” and women were relegated to urban servants.
Now that your blood is likely boiling and I’ve got your attention I would like to state that this book is going to keep your blood boiling for the next 200 or 300 pages or so. This book is not going to be an easy pill to swallow. This book is not going to be a light hearted account of women speaking about their wants and desires in our society like you would find in some article in Cosmopolitan Magazine. This book is instead going to be a deep dive into the dark and personal experiences of women regarding men and the patriarchy beginning with the most powerful men in their own lives: their own fathers.
Here’s a timeline of men and their lifetime and process of evolution and maturity that I created for my first book.
From Birth to Man chart”
Little Kid- 3-10
Big Kid- 10-13
Young Man- 13-16
Young Adult Man-16-18
Young Immature Adult Man-18-22
Adult semi-Functioning Man-23-25
Adult Almost Man- 25-31
Adult Man Career- 32
Adult Man Home- 33
Adult Man Family- 34-35
TRUE Adult Man- (congrats! You’re a man! 35ish)
Grown Man- 40-60
Older Man 60
Older Wiser Man 70
Old Wise Man 80 (average lifespan for men)
Elderly Man 90
Old Ass Man 100
OG grandpops gangster! 110
Times up old fucks…
Now I’ll use that same chart for women but I’ll take into consideration that they have to learn at a much younger age to protect their bodies from boys and men and how much that changes their reality and ideology and how much younger they have to deal with the harshness of life in a patriarchal society dominated by men and bias towards men.
“From birth to woman chart”
Little Kid- 3-10
Big Kid- 10-13
Young Woman- 13-16
Young Adult Woman -16-18
Young Evolving Adult Woman-18-22
Adult Woman -23-25
Adult Woman-(mature) 25-31
Adult Woman- 32
Adult Woman- 33
Adult Woman- 34-35
Grown Woman- 40-60
Older Woman 60
Older Wiser Woman 70
Old Wise Woman 80 (average lifespan for men)
Elderly Woman 90
Old Ass Woman100
OG grandma gangster! 110-?
Did you notice that in my opinion women are full adult women around the age of college (23) whereas men aren’t full adult men until around early thirties? (32) I believe it’s true and most likely due to the fact:
1 in 5 women in the US will be raped in their lifetime (some say as many as 1 in 3 because most report)
22% of females raped are under the age of 12
300,000 women are impregnated against their will annually
Percentage of rapists who are never incarcerated: 97%
Less than 1% of rapes lead to felony convictions.
At least 89% of victims of rape and sexual assault face lifelong emotional and physical consequences. (I would imagine it’s 100%)
Now I wrote those statistics in bold and larger font for a reason. I want those statistics to stand out.
They should be startling and shocking for anyone who isn’t currently a feminist.
They should shake you to your core.
They should make your heart hurt.
They should make your eyes water and your chest feel like it has a load of bricks sitting on it.
They should make you feel angry and sad and powerless all at the same time.
That’s for someone who’s not already a feminist.
For someone like me who is a feminist they should be knowledge you informed yourself with when you decided you were a feminist and they should make you feel motivated and empowered to be an activist and an ally and to engage.
They should make you say enough is enough and make you an activist determined to change those statistics.
When I say activist it can mean many things.
How am I being an activist? Well in many ways. But as a child I was always told that old cliche “the pen is mightier than the sword”.
And now I’m cementing those words into my legacy by bringing these topics out of the dark and no longer whispering them or posting about them for a few thousand people on social media.
Nope. Now we are talking about this with as many people as we can and not just talking but following up that talk with action and activism and fundamental changes and reforms in our society that will change the reality for our daughters and granddaughters and every generation of girls and women thereafter.
We are going to change the world with words and actions but first we need to speak our truth.
And now ladies I leave that up to you.
Each of the following ten chapters will be one question that is asked to women and their answers will be recorded word for word and transcripted back to text for you to read here:
These questions are for a nonfiction book in progress titled WOMEN. By Beau Pollock.
If you’ve received these questions it means I respect you and would be honored if you decide to participate.
(Trying to have a diverse sample of responses by Xmas break so take your time) Thank you in advance.
This book is a follow up to my first completed (nonfiction) book to be published in 2020, titled MEN.
“MEN" "A memoir with an agenda for activism and social change, a new concept on manhood, lifestyle and masculinity, a personal guide book to well being and a deep dive into avoiding and even reversing the "midlife crisis".
(I’ve also completed two short novels, two feature film screenplays, and a bunch of other assorted writings, been published journalist and photo-journalist since 1999) I have three self-published coffee table books of photography and mixed media currently for sale on amazon.
This book WOMEN. is firsthand accounts by women regarding their experiences of the patriarchy.
Not all questions or answers will end up in the book (to save from repetition) but all answers that are published will be cited by the author as the exact words of the respondents by: First Name and Last Name initials only (example: Michelle F.) unless they state they would like to remain anonymous or if they state they would like their full name published.
In human mainstream cultures the patriarchy and oppression of women by men has pretty much existed forever. Literally a million years or so. The old cliche adage that cavemen dragged their women around by their hair is not something to joke about anymore. It’s something to despise. To acknowledge. To evolve beyond. Some small tribes have had matriarchy and female leaders and some periods have been somewhat egalitarian but in general men have treated women as second class human beings or even worse (dowry, servitude, slavery, FGM (Female Genital Mutilation/Castration), human trafficking, etc) and still do.
I want to help humanity evolve beyond this stasis and my initial attempt is to expose how it exists currently and affects women personally especially from childhood with their personal testimony.
To challenge our current culture and societal norms I am publishing these three books:
MEN & WOMEN. (In concept)
The third book (MEN & WOMEN) I plan to collaborate with some of the world's most influential women and men and people from all walks of life and create an agenda for human evolution for ours and future generations of male & female harmony and co-existence.
Each of the following ten chapters will be one question that is asked to women and their answers will be recorded word for word and transcripted back to text for people to read or you may type out your answers and return them to me:
This book and it’s included media is meant to be a deep dive into personal experiences and is not going to be filtered or edited other than spelling and punctuation. Please feel free to express yourself with raw and real words and phrases and free to use any language or expletives you choose: (this ain’t your mom's type of book) “Ok, boomer”. Let it out please.
We aren’t going to allow the boomer generation power dynamic to control and manipulate our society any longer. It’s our time. (Thank god for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez right?)
This book is for your daughters. This book is for your granddaughters.
THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU.
Chapter 1: What is the patriarchy to you?
Chapter 2: What is your first memory or experience of the patriarchy?
Chapter 3: Who in your life has supported the patriarchy? Did your father (or father figure) control you or your body or your initial sexuality in any way including when and whom you dated or when you were old enough to have sex? Did your mother (or mother figure)? Was there guilt or guilt trips involved? Were you shamed? If you had brothers or male friends at the time did they have a similar experience? If you have brothers or close males around you at the time were they treated differently than you regarding their early sex life? How will you talk to your daughters or granddaughters or young women you’re associated with about sex and their “virginity”? What would you like to change about this dynamic?
Chapter 4: Where in our society (America) do you see the patriarchy enforced the most?
Chapter 5: Where in the world do you see the patriarchy enforced the most and do you see anywhere that has evolved beyond it?
Chapter 6: When do you think the patriarchy was formed and do you think it will ever be dismantled?
Chapter 7: Why do you think men continue to enforce the patriarchy? Have you been sexually abused, assaulted or raped and was it by a man? Do you think the punishment for those crimes is valid? Should there be stronger punishments and more enforcement and better ways for women to report? (If you want this question response to be anonymous please note due to subject matter)
Chapter 8: Who in your life has helped you confront the patriarchy?
Chapter 9: How do you think the patriarchy can be dismantled or evolved?
Chapter 10: What are you doing personally or plan to do or want to do to help society evolve beyond the patriarchy?
Feel free to type your answers or call me and I will
Record the interview or record yourself by making an audio file with your iPhone “voice memos” app. Then email it to me.
I can also do a video interview via Skype or FaceTime or in person.
Or you can type and send by email!
All respondents will receive an early version of the book to read and will be asked to sign a contract and release before the book is published. 51% of the proceeds from the book or 51% of proceeds of Beau Pollock’s share of royalties will go to women’s non-profit organizations specifically those working to ban FGM and child marriage/Dowry etc. a large portion of the remaining royalties will go to fund “Her Paws Foundation” a A Non-profit organization providing shelter for women & dogs in need with temporary housing, life tools, and skills to take on life's challenges. Mission: Her Paws Foundation ("HPF") is a women's shelter program and animal rescue. Providing a healthy safe environment for women to take a "paws" from life to rebuild. Gaining life skills and empowering each other by teaching and sharing responsibility through the care of the rescue dogs, gardening, cooking, self defense and other skills developing a true sense of self worth and renewed sense of purpose.
Also open to women who’s responses are published receiving a percent of royalties and being promoted in their careers through connected media and publicity and social media. We will figure out the percentages when release and contracts are submitted to you.
Please send your files or typed responses or to schedule a FaceTime or phone call interview to:
You will get an initial “received” reply and as the book is completed over the next few months may receive other replies for more information etc.
If you would like to read rough draft versions during book process just reply to email after a few weeks and we will send you current versions
Also if you would like to read the rough/first draft of my book titled “MEN.” Please let me know and I’ll email you a current draft.
If this process causes any emotional instability or mental health issues to arise due to subject matter please reach out directly to your doctors, therapists, counselors, healers, life coaches, sponsors, family, friends etc if needed and know that we only mean to help and are here to help. Thanks!